The warm intro ask: what to send the introducer
arm introductions outperform cold outreach by an order of magnitude — when they're done well. The asymmetry comes from a small piece of effort: writing the introducer a forwardable note that does most of their work for them. Most people skip this step and ask the introducer to figure it out, which is why most warm-intro requests die in someone's draft folder.
What to Send Introducers
- Warm intro askneeds
- Forwardable, not request
- Write their note
- Four-line forwardableline 1
- Who you are
- Why them
- Specific ask
- Easy out
- Skip: write directly
Table of Contents
Quick reference
Forwardable, not request
Send the introducer something they can forward in 30 seconds.
Four lines
Who you are, why this person, the ask, easy out.
"If you're open to it"
Free the introducer to say no without awkwardness.
Specific ask
"15 minutes about Y," not "to connect."
Skip the intro
When direct outreach is strong enough or the introducer's relationship is weak.
Thank the introducer
Always, regardless of outcome. Briefly. Same day.
Warm introductions outperform cold outreach by an order of magnitude — when they're done well. The asymmetry comes from a small piece of effort: writing the introducer a forwardable note that does most of their work for them. Most people skip this step and ask the introducer to figure it out, which is why most warm-intro requests die in someone's draft folder.
What you'll learn
Why introducers need a forwardable, not a request
When you ask someone "Could you introduce me to X?", you're asking them to do three things:
- 1
Decide whether the intro makes sense
- 2
Write a few sentences explaining who you are and what you want
- 3
Send the message
Most people stall at step 2. Writing about a third party — even one you know well — is harder than it sounds, and it's often not the most pressing thing in their inbox.
The shift that fixes this: send them a short, forwardable note that handles step 2 for them. Now their job is just step 1 (yes/no) and step 3 (forward). Most people will do that gladly. The intro that was sitting in their draft folder becomes a 30-second forward.
The forwardable should be written so it can literally be forwarded with a one-line top note: "Hi X, this is the person I mentioned — see below."
A four-line forwardable that gets passed on
- 1
Say who you are
One specific sentence: who you are.
- 2
Explain why X specifically
Why this person, not someone else.
- 3
Make the ask
Specific: “I’d love 15 minutes to ask about how they think about Y.”
- 4
Make declining easy
“Of course, completely fine if X is too busy or it’s not a fit.”
The forwardable has four lines:
1. Who you are. One specific sentence. "I'm the founder of [thing], a [short description]." Or "I'm a senior engineer at [place] working on [area]."
2. Why X specifically. Why this person, not someone else. "You introduced me to [intermediate connection], who suggested X would be the right person to talk to about [topic]" — or — "I've been following X's work on [specific area] and would love their perspective."
3. The ask. Specific. "I'd love 15 minutes to ask about how they think about Y" — or — "I'm exploring a partnership in [space] and X seemed like the obvious person to start the conversation."
4. Make it easy to decline gracefully. "Of course, completely fine if X is too busy or it's not a fit — no pressure either way."
Keep it to four sentences. The introducer can paste it into a forward in 30 seconds. The recipient can decide in 30 seconds whether to engage.
When you send it to the introducer, make the request explicit: "If you're open to it, here's a forwardable. Of course no obligation if you'd rather not." That single line — "if you're open to it" — frees the introducer to say no without awkwardness.
When to skip the warm intro and write directly
- Direct cold message is strongIf you can reference the recipient's specific work and ask a specific question, you may not need the intro.
- Introducer's relationship is weakA "we met once at a conference" intro adds little credibility.
- Ask is smallFor a one-question email, a warm intro is usually overkill.
- Time mattersWarm intros take days.
Warm intros are powerful, but they have a real cost: they spend social capital with the introducer, and they slow the process down by days or weeks. Sometimes a direct cold note is genuinely better.
Skip the warm intro when:
Your direct cold message is strong enough to stand on its own. If you can reference the recipient's specific work and ask a specific question, you may not need the intro. You're not gaining much.
The introducer's relationship is weak. A "we met once at a conference" intro adds little credibility and burns the introducer's social capital with the recipient. Better to write directly.
The ask is small. For a one-question email, a warm intro is usually overkill. For a meeting, partnership, or significant ask, it's often worth it.
Time matters. Warm intros take days. If the timing is sharp — a fundraise, a press cycle, a hiring decision — direct contact may be necessary.
The right question isn't "can I get a warm intro?" — it's "is the intro worth more than the friction it adds?" Sometimes yes. Sometimes the cold email is better.
Want a more guided way to practise this?
Common questions
How do I avoid putting the introducer on the spot?
Frame the request as opt-in: "If you're open to it..." and "completely fine to say no." Send the forwardable as a draft, not as a demand. The introducer will say yes more readily when they don't feel pressured.
What if the introducer wants to add their own note?
Great. The double opt-in pattern — introducer asks the recipient first, then forwards once they've agreed — is the gold standard. Your forwardable still helps; the introducer can paraphrase.
How do I follow up after the intro?
Always email both the introducer and the recipient with a thank-you within 24 hours. After the actual conversation, send the introducer a short note about what came of it. It costs you 60 seconds and earns you future intros.
How many intros can I ask for from one person?
Far fewer than you think. One or two per year from a moderate connection; a handful from a strong one. Asking for more burns out the relationship. The exception is people whose explicit role is making intros (some investors, some senior executives, some board members).
Bottom line
A warm intro that gets made is one where you wrote the introducer a four-line forwardable they could pass on in 30 seconds. Make declining easy. Thank everyone, regardless of outcome. And remember that sometimes the right move is to skip the intro and write directly — friction has a cost, too.